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Author Topic: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too  (Read 1244 times)

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Offline Sareen

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Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« on: March 22, 2009, 08:34:10 PM »
I'm not expecting a miracle or anything but lately I have become very depressed I don't actually know why though, its just sort of happened...Some people say that it could do with that fact that ever since I told the people I really like (there's on 3) that I have become worried about what they think of me and that I keep thinking about being rejected with out realizing it or I'm think that I'm going to get hurt if I went out with one of them, or that I'm scared I'll hurt 2 of them by going out with one then hurting the one I'm dating by breaking up with them....

Some of my other friends keep saying that it could be to do with the fact I'm single and ever since I became single I have noticed allot more people are getting a mate and for some reason people like talking about how great their mate is in front of me which mates me slightly angry...And normally to cheer me up my friends would give me a hug to help settle me...But over the past few weeks I think I'm starting to get Chiraptophobia (fear of being touched) every time someone touches me I cringe and I hate the feel of it, I make a thing to deal with it with family because I know them properly and have done all my life, but friends cant touch me any more.

I personally think it is to do with that fact that lately I haven't been sleeping properly and that I'm getting really irritable, and I feel as if no one actually wants me around they just put up with me because the have to and not because they want to hang around with me, and I'm slowly starting to stop talking to people and lose contact with them, and lately I've been saying things I haven't meant to (e.g. I said something to Tezztor over MSN just a second ago and I really didn't mean to say it) which makes me feel strange in some way that I can't actually explain, and I would apologize I'm just scared their going to be mad at me and yell or just be a complete jerk, and I'm worried that I'm going to make it worse as well.

EDIT: just to add a little bit on, if people say I can trust you, please please don't get offended when I say I cant tell you still, right now because of something that happened in my childhood I have trust issues I know for a fact I can trust you all because everyone here is really nice and supportive towards everyone, But I'm beginning to relive the Trust issues so I'm getting scared of telling others how I feel. It doesn't help where even at this age, I'm still having problems which makes me trusting people harder, by this I mean my so called real life 'Friends' mock me whenever I try to tell them I am the way I am for a reason, just just because I want to be.

This doesn't really have a point to it but I just wanna know if anyone has had this sort of thing before and can spear some advice as to how I can stop it or at least ease it down a bit?
« Last Edit: March 22, 2009, 08:52:49 PM by Syra Reikan »
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Offline flames

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Re: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2009, 08:46:07 PM »
Ow, just ouch. I sorta know how you feel Sy, I once had a similiar (but far milder) experience. It is truly terrible to undergo for any amount of time...
I think some of the reasons you have mentioned may be contributing towards your depression and irritable-ness, particulary your lack of sleep. I know that as an Insomniac sleep will be hard to come by, but rest as much as possible (even if you're awake) and relax more. Try to get someone you trust to perhaps massage some areas, get scented candles/soaps, etc and anything else to help you unwind. Take a break from a few things and most importantly:
Remember that there are indeed many people who care for you and we truly do care about you

I'm only sorry I can't help you more...:'(
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Offline Dog Donovan

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Re: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2009, 08:50:02 PM »
Despite how optimistic I say I am, I've had this kinda' problem before, Syra. At one point, in seventh grade (before I even came out as Furry) one of my best friends ignored me almost completely in favor of a new one. I looked at what I thought he thought of me: I thought he thought that I was extremely annoying and I should just go away. I became blind to the fact that it was only him that seemed like this, and that all of my other friends still loved me plenty. After a week, I realized this and biting down my pride, I stopped hanging out with him.

So: Get proper sleep and eats and such, and don't let your ideas of a select few break your opinions on others. Because, like me and FireWind, many, many people love you for who you are.

And here's a saying: If you don't think you can do it, then you can't. Meaning, you have to get yourself to believe in yourself, otherwise you're breaking yourself thinking about "what ifs" and such.

The LAST thing you want to do for sure is break connections based on your current mood. Nothing good will ever come out of doing so. And, yes, this has a point to it. In the case of depression, people can lose their lives or parts of themselves, and I won't have that happening with someone as lovable as you!

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Re: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2009, 10:15:38 PM »
I can sort of understand how you feel, Syra. I get that way sometimes. It comes and goes for me. Even the thing about not wanting to be touched. I think that for at least 90% of the people around me, I feel extremely on edge if they get too close to me. Even one of my closer friends that I've known for a few years now, for some reason I always try to keep him at least a few inches from me. Even sometimes when we're walking somewhere together and just the way we're walking makes him accidentally bump into me or something, I feel myself immediately tense up and pull away. And it's not like I ever feel threatened by him or weird around him or anything, that's just how I am.

I know not having a mate can be very tough if you want one. You should know that we all do care about you though, and even though I know it's really not the same, just because you don't have a mate doesn't mean you're all alone. From what (little, sadly) I know about you, you do seem to be a very nice girl, and anyone who doesn't see that isn't good enough for you anyway.

As for things that may help: try to take naps, at least, if you can't sleep at night. Try doing something that you think may relax you, like listening to music. Exercising more might also help. (Even if it can be tough to get up the energy to do it, it has a lot of effects that can both brighten your mood and help you get to sleep.)

And if worse comes to worse, you should always consider seeing a doctor regarding any depression and/or sleeping issues.
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Offline Somebody

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Re: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2009, 10:24:26 PM »
I've already told you over MSN my suggestions, however I feel that you need not worry about me or thinking that you've done me wrong in anyway. Your a great person who only deserves the best in life. You got so much to offer whoever is lucky enough to pick you up as a mate. Be proud to be who you are, because the world needs more like you and not the rabble you claim is the example of popularity.

We all have a fear of being touched from time to time, hell I haven't even shown my picture to anybody save for one member of this forum. I'd prefer to live in darkness and have people assume I'm Tezztor then reveal the real me. But don't let that make you think your a lesser person. Its just who you are and its the Syra that we all know and love

Offline Sardoc Meiser

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Re: Advice Needed...and maybe a kinda rant too
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2009, 03:33:49 AM »
You're not alone you know... Except for the insomnia and depression part, I live and feel exactly like you. I used to be okay with people touching me. Now : Impossible. I hate, hate, hate, hate it when somebody touches me, even more my hair (Yeah, gift of my red hair, I'd happily dye into black if my hair cutter didn't refuse to dye it). I began shaking aswell, suicidal thougts too and I talk to objects that hurt me (Yes, I accidently ran into a chair and told it to stop that) tough I'm perfectly sane(Maybe not anymore). I've got an obsession with spirits and posession tough, perhaps I conneced with a bad one...

Sorry for my rant, all I can say is, take a thing at a time. What can you achieve easily in your problems? What's the easiest problem to get rid of? Seenig yours, I'd go for the insomnia, after, I'd reunite my friends and talk of it, then I'd finally go to those speech problems kind of things with a psychologist or something like that.
I'd like to see you do what can and see everything on a positive light. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to tell this chair a thing or two (Lame joke attempt  =s)

 

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