No idea what to do.

[TheMysticMage]

I need advice and help. I could bother you with a tl;dr story about the whole situation so that you all reading this could get a better understanding of the situation, but I'd rather not bore you all with details.....I need help.

Basically, my ex-fiance who cheated on me with who was a great friend of mine at the time wants to be my friend, and she has apologized for everything even going so far as to cry because she feels bad that she hurt me, and she wants to be friends with me because she says she still loves me and misses me.

However, IDK what to do. Talking to her hurts, remembering catching her in bed with my friend hurts, the fact that she cheated on me and it was her that left me hurts and won't get outta my head, and while I really wanna hang out with her again cause she's one of the coolest people I know, it's hard and painful just to talk to her, and I don't even know if I should let go the fact that she cheated on me. (I already forgave her, but IDK....)

Could anybody give me suggestions? =(

P.S.: If you really want the tl;dr story, it's quite the epic tale, and if people say they wanna hear it then why not I'll type it up.

[Otebon Albrecht]

I would refrain from posting the full story mainly because this is a PG-13 board and you mention that you caught her in bed with your friend. Just saying, if you do post the full story, feel free to leave a few details blank.

As for your dilemma, I know a bit of what you mean. My previous girlfriend broke up with me (granted, not as emotionally destructive as yours was, so I will not try to take the "I've been there" position) but wished to still be friends. I have tried to live with it and I will admit that it's very hard.

Only do what you are comfortable with, and do what you feel you need to do. That's all I can really say.

[Midnight Madness]

I know how it feels to be cheated on. The amount of anger and pain strikes you all in one, formidable blow only to leave you suffering the "aftershocks" of that pain for some time. How you once believed that this person would be yours forever, only to be proven a liar. You feel connived and deceived, like a fool completely blind to something, or that you failed to provide.

But despite all that she did, I personally found it reasonable to forgive my ex and treat her as a friend again. Never would I consider being with her again, however. For one, I have found another, and second, I personally do not feel I would be willing to give her my heart again if I could, I don't trust her with it. So, if I were the one with the choice, I would be friends, but not go any further than that.

But, Otebon is right. Just do what you are comfortable with. But keep this in mind: people make mistakes, big and small and anywhere in between. To allow a mistake to cloud your ability to perceive an honest apology is fallacy. This is not a direct statement to your thoughts and feelings, but simply a suggestion in that sense. Just be reasonable is all I'm saying, really, but never step outside your comfort zone in such a situation such as this.