I am only 17. And yet when I go to sleep I always think about the loved ones that are dead and who can be close to on the way out.. I tear up some nights thinking about this and I am all for living the moment but it gets to a point where you just think whats the point in life.
I got bullied all through primary school because of my weight and my "nerdiness" I mean literally in Lunch and breaks everyone would corner me with rocks and sticks and say "dance ham, or we will hurt you" and they would proper hurt me and I just had to stay in my classroom every break. What kind of life is that just running away from things. I have spent my whole life almost running away from things. [removed] I got ripped apart every **censor** day in school, I used to hide all I could.
I have been expelled from school for self defense. I was allowed back but it was 10 days before my gcse's with a 3 month odd gap. This made me have shit results, which means I had to go to college to do a BTEC diploma rather than an extended ceritificate or A levels. I even get bullied in college. [removed] The getting in trouble has torn me apart from my family and I am basically unwanted in the house and I have been described on several occasions of being a parasite. My personal life sucks because I live in a small village with no one my age so I hang around with younger kids and people call me a paedophile, I am in love and chasing a woman that doesn't want me to exist and sent death threats. I have had many death threats via facebook messages. And because of the trouble I got into I **censor** up an almost guaranteed job near me. I cant get a job either now. This is why I want out. Some people call me lucky in the situation but trust me I have emotional scars and trauma that will be with me till the end of time. I tried suicide once. I dont like it but it is looking a better option everytime I consider it. Please PM of what you think cuz I dont understand a thing /:
