I don't know why, but I'm feeling pretty down lately. Been feeling pretty frustrated with my brother again, as usual. Again, I love my brother, but love and like are very different. Then there's a whole slew of family trouble in my life, due to my mother's failing health. Slap on top of that my nature as a very reserved and quiet person, and things get sour. I care a lot for others, and only want to help as best I can. (I'm a very stereotypical Taurus, using astrology lol)
Unfortunately, it's hard to juggle wanting to help and be the best and positive for others, while hoping for the same love to me, while also being extremely shy and introverted. Between an inward personality and (actual) social anxiety (that manifests physical illness when hit with it) it makes it extremely difficult to work out a comfortable and happy place.
I've been doing my best to enjoy time with friends and family lately, but even at it's best I always end up feeling way too far on the outside, even for my liking. And I really just don't know what to do. I've never said anything like this, because I don't do that kind of thing, but I feel like crying, and I haven't felt like that since I was extremely small.
I don't talk to my friends, or really anyone about my problems, because it's not their trouble to bear, and it's not my place to make them deal with it.
I have no idea why things just kind of coalesce that way lately, but that's just how it is, I guess.
I want to write more, but I don't really know how to translate my feelings any more at the moment. So yeah.
