Reaching out.

[K. Arun]

This is a long post, so beware.

Let me start by saying it's nice to see such a large furry forum with so many users.

Let's see.

About a week ago, I lost the only friend I've ever known in this town over a very petty fight. I won't go into the details here, but suffice it to say the entire thing was a mess.

The thing is, she was my only connection here. We had been close for 7 years, and she was the only person I could really trust, the only person who I felt really understood me.

Since then, I really haven't had much motivation to do anything. I ended up skipping an entire day of college classes because I just couldn't bear to get up and go (not to mention the fact that I share my economics class with her.)

This isn't a typical situation where I can just go and apologize, either. She said, quite explicitly, that she never wants to speak to me again, doesn't want me to come anywhere near her, and doesn't want to be my friend anymore.

I suppose, for awhile, things have slowly been going downhill, even before this happened. I've developed a paranoia problem. I fear the future, I can't appreciate the present or what I have (until it's gone, as you can no doubt tell), and I look at the past with such reverence, because I long to be back in the days where my life actually meant something, where I know I was happy.

What am I looking for? I don't know. Why am I turning to the furry fandom? I suppose it's because I've always been comfortable here.

I doubt any of you are psychiatrists in real life, but I need to find some answers, because I honestly don't even have the motivation to go see a professional.

If anyone is willing to give me some input, I'd appreciate it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[Vosur Aekira]

People do change, things happen that cause them to change (either for the better or for the worse). The best thing you can do for yourself is find someone that you can trust to talk to, even if it's just on minor things. Don't outright "spill your heart" to them, but little-by-little, allow yourself to trust them and them to trust you.

[K. Arun]

People do change, things happen that cause them to change (either for the better or for the worse). The best thing you can do for yourself is find someone that you can trust to talk to, even if it's just on minor things. Don't outright "spill your heart" to them, but little-by-little, allow yourself to trust them and them to trust you.

It's a little tough in this small town where I live.

Not to mention the fact that my paranoia always gets the best of me. Before this point I built up a disgusting web of people I would party with, thinking that they were actually "friends" in the real sense of the word. That was, until I witnessed things so horrible that I won't even go into detail about them here. And I'm not talking about typical "angsty young person" horrible, I'm talking about real, malicious things that caused direct harm to others.

Needless to say, I kicked all but one of those people out of my life quite some time ago. And sure, I still have that one person left, but I can't really trust him. I always feel like he's playing "double agent" with me, because he actively spends time with the people I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Now, I know, he has every right to be friends with whoever he wants, but it's a horrible thing, having to question the motives of someone who claims to be your buddy.

All that aside, I don't know if I can replace the original friend I spoke of. She was everything to me and more. I'd give anything to have her back.

[Vosur Aekira]

Well, try to find someone on here that you can associate with, you eventually have to talk to someone about how you feel.

[K. Arun]

Well, try to find someone on here that you can associate with, you eventually have to talk to someone about how you feel.

I know. That's my hope, at least. It's why I created this topic.

Thanks for responding. I appreciate it.

[Vosur Aekira]

No prob.

[x]

I don't know if I'm the best person to be answering this, as I'm...different. But I'll give it a go.

I'd say if you still want to be friends and if you can forgive her for abandoning you, then you should ignore what she said about not wanting to see your face anymore and just keep pestering her until she agrees to sit down and have a talk with you. Then you can try and rekindle something, ask her to make things up, or, at the very least, you can make her tell you why such a trivial thing upset her so much.

You've just got to be brave about it and go out and talk to her. If she still doesn't want to be friends, then, hey, at least you know and can quit wallowing in your worry.

Same thing for other "unsavory" friends. Just ask them up front what their deal is. Generally, when you ask them a direct question, then its a lot easier to tell whether they're lying or not once they answer.

And please don't get too deep into paranoia. Just take life one day at a time. If you do start worrying wayyy too much, then please get help. I would know, as my psyche and emotions and social skills are permanently damaged due to paranoia. I can't go into details, but worrying every day as much as I do is no fun, so stop while you're ahead.

I wish you the utmost best.
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